by Catherine Malchaire
“This person needs to be let go.” Why is this subject still taboo?
Now, I agree with those who will say that people are being unfairly dismissed these days and that there are abuses. That’s not what this post is about. I want to talk about the case where someone feels so uncomfortable within their team that they can no longer trust their colleagues. This person is constantly stressed from living in a state of suspicion.
During our support work, we create the space to rebuild trust and strengthen cohesion within the team. Most of the time, the process goes well and we discover a transformed team at the end of the journey.
But sometimes, certain team members simply don’t play along. And this happens even when the framework is clearly set, even when the rest of the team opens up and reaches out to that person, even when the exercises proposed aren’t particularly challenging.
The reasons can be many. The most common case is when the situation has gone too far and the person can no longer see their colleagues as anything other than enemies who wish them harm. In that case, it’s in no one’s interest for that team member to stay. They will continue to fuel tensions within the group. And for themselves, they won’t be able to thrive at work as long as they remain permanently on guard.
In larger organisations, it’s sometimes possible to move this person to a team where they’ll feel better. But in some cases, there’s no other solution than letting them go. Having that conversation with a leader is never easy. Neither for that leader, nor for me. And yet, I’ve never experienced a case where it went badly. And I know from experience that it’s better for the team and for the person too.
I’ve since crossed paths with people who, after being let go, found a job where they truly flourished. I even reconnected with a woman who had finally gotten married. With all the stress, she simply hadn’t had the time to meet anyone in her previous job.
That said, let’s not jump to conclusions too quickly. I’ve also worked with teams where I expected certain people not to engage and the magic of the group happened anyway. And those are often the teams that end up the most tightly knit.
What about you? Have you ever had that difficult conversation?