by Catherine Malchaire
“Hey, you didn’t do what you were supposed to do… …Is something wrong? Can I help?”
Daring to hold each other accountable for following through on decisions isn’t always easy. Even in the best teams! Even in teams where there’s mutual trust, where people speak openly, and where everyone commits to decisions.
It must be the 4th level of Lencioni’s model that gets in the way: “holding each other accountable.”
Yes, there are situations where it’s not that straightforward.
Example: Fred is very often late to meetings and tends to cut them short because he has something urgent to deal with. It frustrates me because we don’t have time to cover all the agenda points and I can’t move forward.
So here are a few tips for giving Fred some feedback:
- Feedback needs to be prepared if you don’t want it to go off the rails.
- It’s better to choose the right moment. When emotions are running high, it’s not a good idea! But don’t wait too long either. You don’t want the situation to fester.
- Stick to the facts. Interpretations and assumptions do more harm than good.
- Don’t mix everything together. One piece of feedback at a time.
- Speak in “I” statements and avoid the “you” that hurts.
And here’s a tool I learned at BAO-Elan Vital / Gen7 Academy: the DESC framework! To structure feedback effectively, follow this protocol:
1️⃣ Description: state the facts.
2️⃣ Emotions: how this makes me feel.
3️⃣ Solution: what I propose.
4️⃣ Conclusion: why the other person should buy into this solution.
Let’s go back to the example of Fred’s lateness.
1️⃣ Description: “Meetings often start late and it’s rare that we manage to cover all the agenda points. I’m frequently left with unresolved items, which puts me behind in my work.”
2️⃣ Emotions: “This is stressful for me because I’m worried about not meeting my objectives and putting the team at risk. I can no longer see clearly and I feel lost. It’s also very frustrating to feel stuck and to have the sense that I can’t move forward.”
3️⃣ Solution: “Going forward, I would like meetings to start on time and not end before a decision has been reached on all the key points.”
4️⃣ Conclusion: “Without this, it will be difficult for me and for the team to reach our goals.”
Right. I’m off to have a word with Fred (fictitious name, of course).
Fancy practising giving feedback together?